Just a Small Town Girl Living in a Homophobic World 

So, first off, I’m not sure how often I’ll be updating this thing. Hopefully I at least get up one post a week but we’ll see.

Anyway, I thought I should introduce myself a bit more than just what my About page says.

My name is Ari Reed and I live in a horribly small town in MiCal. (MiCal is not a thing, I just am sick and tired of Middle California not having a cool hip word like Sourthern and Northern California have. To be honest, I’m not quite sure Middle California is even a thing. I just want to be fun!!) I’ve hated this town for as long as I remember. I’m more of a big city girl, not a girl who enjoys having absolutely nothing to do in her hometown. Three months ago, when I came out as gay, (I’ll talk about this more in another post), I started to hate this town a whole lot more.

My girlfriend and I live together and even when we didn’t, we acted like it (i.e. going grocery shopping together, she gave me a ride to work because I don’t have a car, etc). We are also fans of PDA, not sucking each other’s faces off in public, but holding hands and occasionally a quick kiss. Now, I’ve known people in my town to be homophobic and horrible but for the first time in my life, I was the target towards their hateful remarks.

My girlfriend and I were grocery shopping once and after we had picked out what we wanted, we kissed each other for a second. Two guys, probably in their 20’s, said “dykes” pretty loudly, laughed and then turned and walked away. I didn’t really know what to do. My girlfriend asked me if I was ok and I realized I was more angry than I was sad or hurt.

A few weeks ago, my grandmother had gone on a vacation and asked my girlfriend and I to house-sit for her. We agreed because she had a nice TV, fast wifi, and she was paying us to use it. While we were there, we were leaving the house to go somewhere so we started walking towards my girlfriend’s car. There was a man riding his bike on the street and we didn’t think anything of it at first. The man then said something along the lines as “Hey ladies, where are you going?” A few seconds later, before we could say anything, he said “Are you guys lezzy friends, or what?” and then laughed and rode away. We immediately just laughed, the nature of this guy was just hilarious to us. When we started driving away, we saw him again and this time he just stared at us with an insanely creepy face and we started to get scared. We realized that he only lived on the next street down and every night we worried we’d have to see him again.

At my work, there’s about 9 men working there and I’m the only female. Usually I don’t mind it because I get to sit in my office and focus on my work and not deal with them. However, there is this one employee who’s started giving me the creeps. One day, he came into my office and told me that he had heard I was moving away soon and he asked if I was moving with my boyfriend. I had told him that yes, I am hoping to move soon and no, I was moving with my girlfriend. His first response was “Girlfriend girlfriend, or just girlfriend?” I was sure which form of girlfriend meant the kind that you had sex with so I tried to make it as clear as possible that I was dating a female. Him, being an ignorant man, did not understand this. The next day, he started criticizing what I was wearing, saying “How does your boyfriend feel about you wearing this?” He didn’t realize that even I did have a boyfriend, I wouldn’t let him tell me what I can and can’t wear. I was getting fed up quickly and just answered back that I don’t have a boyfriend. He still didn’t get the hint. To this day, he still makes small remarks.

I think I should make a shirt saying “Hello, yes, I like girls and I have a girlfriend. I’m not sorry if it offends you.” Although, if I did that, I’d probably get shot. Lovely MiCal for ‘ya.

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