When will I know that everything’s gonna be alright? Will I never know?
I’m so stressed everyday trying to figure out what to do with my life. To get home from my shitty job and think to myself “How much longer can I possibly do this? Do I have to always be this fucking miserable?” I can’t even enjoy simple, enjoyable things anymore. I just stress about what needs to be done and whether or not I’ll have enough time to finish it all.
I say that it’ll be fine. I can afford one big jump into the right direction, start doing what it is that I want to do and get out of this god awful town. But that’s not realistic. I can’t afford that; I haven’t been able to use my debit card the past four days because I’m waiting for my credit card payment to be taken out of my account. There’s no way I can survive in a new, more expensive town. I don’t even have a car, let alone my license.
So, how much longer do I have to suffer? How much longer do I have to swallow my pride, my morals, my self respect and work at a job where I just have enough to make it?
I wish I could figure out some sort of answer so everything would feel worth it. But, until then, I’ll continue feeling like I’m trapped in my worst nightmare.
P.S. I lied. It wasn’t my credit card payment it was actually my Disney payment. I’m stuck in a contract, okay!